Living with Finesse

FINESSE. It's not just a shampoo ;) I believe everyone should practice demonstrating finesse in their daily lives; every aspect of it. Think about it for a moment, everything you say to someone is considered a public display. Everything you do in terms of actions and acting is a public display. Everyone views public displays as truth. Kind of like, "well, he/she says that or writes about that, but CLEARLY demonstrates this". So, which will you believe about this person's character. "Do as I say not as I do" rings a bell here, but it is not directed at a child as it usually is, but in this instance, it's directed at you, me.

Communicating with some finesse, character, and style will make you a better person and make the interactions with you more pleasant for everyone else, if not inspirational and educational. Every person has the same amount of time in a day. We can spend those precious moments reacting haphazardly and without the contemplation of what you are about to say, how you will say it or what you will do and how you will do it. It's easier said than done for yours truly, and that's exactly the point. For some, finesse is present and has been for a while. While for others it is something that is being actively worked on and consistently developed. And there are the countless many that have not considered it at all or have ever been approached with the concept.

How can you apply finesse in your life? Start with listening intently and then thinking before
you speak. When you approach the clerk at your regular convenience store, start with a sincere smile, make eye contact and sincerely ask how their day is going. Then tell him you are there to rob him. Just kidding. Unfortunately most people will respond with some sort of a negative response and that's their bag. Not yours. They will however feel different from the way you treated them. When a child or even a dog does something you are not happy about, pause and ask yourself if you are about to perform with finesse. And make no mistake about it, you are performing. You perform for everyone you interact with whether you believe it or not. You are on display and actions speak much LOUDER than words.

Finesse can be seen in the paperwork you hand in, the check you write, the wrong number call you receive, the coffee you buy, the interaction with the incompetent support person, the motorcycle coming down the road, the workout equipment you just finished with, etc. There are countless opportunities to stimulate and demonstrate finesse.

Lastly, finesse also encompasses the honesty factor. We tend to tell people what they want to hear instead of what we are really thinking or feeling. What a great opportunity to work on your finesse. Holding to the truth in the face of adversity, disagreement or the potential of hurting someone's feelings takes finesse to stay true to yourself while delicately embracing someone's feelings.

Why is finesse so important? Because it makes you feel better; it makes you a better person; it makes the experience of interacting with you pleasurable and it lays down your legacy and how you will be remembered.