Dealing with Financial Stress

Dealing with Financial Stress

It has been said that stress is the silent killer. I would argue that stress is not silent at all.  Add "financial" to the picture and you now have a cocktail that can disintegrate a marriage, erode the human body and cause the mind to contort situations from bad to catastrophic. So, is financial stress silent? No! Lethal? Yes!

Having been completely broke on several occasions, I can relate this to subject matter.  Our minds tend to make matters worse when a worsening situation is the last thing we need.

“ On no account brood over your wrong-doing. Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean. ” Aldous Huxley (1894–1963), English writer

How we make things worse:

1. Negativity - It is far easier to be negative when times are tough. This one alone is the biggest culprit of making matters worse than they are. It serves as the proverbial snowball that plows over everything in your life and leads to a number of other bad circumstances.

2. Desperate or fearful moves - Being cornered will make most people turn to a reactive state and necessarily so.  Being cornered financially with a lot of financial responsibility often makes people make rash decisions that don't make sense. Remember that decisions made out of fear are always the wrong ones.

3. Indecision - Doing nothing at all is a recipe for continued failure.  DO SOMETHING.  Call your creditors and work out a mutually beneficial payment plan. Seek coaching with a financial planner. Remember that to move a boat that is anchored, the anchor only needs to be lifted one inch from the bottom of the sea.  A small correction can have an immense impact but it starts with lifting the anchor that is tying you down.

4. Going down with the ship - Sometimes we have to open our eyes to the reality around us and cut our losses.  Don’t let your pride get int he way.  Pride clouds judgement with the intensity of a sand storm.  Ask yourself: “What is the worst thing that can happen?” and once you realize what that is, make a decision.  I’ve held on too long several times only to look backs years later to say: “I wish I had just let go.”

5. Be honest about what the situation REALLY IS!  In order to fix anything, you need to know from what point you are starting at. If you want to increase your net worth each year but only know what your income is without knowing your debt load, you will have no clue on the amount needed to accomplish your goal.  Be honest also about what got you in this situation in the first place. Financial stress was created, promoted, or allowed by YOU.  What habits are you constantly doing that are adding to your financial angst?  Are you eating out every night of the week?  Are you allowing your spouse or children to overspend without discussion?  Are you living well beyond your means in order to present a facade of wealth to boast your image or perceived social status?  If you want X and you do Y and expect X, then you are living in delusion.  

6. Quit blaming others.  Your credit card company did not “screw you” by charging you 25% interest on a card that you ordered and over charged.  Your brother who failed to pay you back the money you loaned him is not the reason you’re having issues right now. Take responsibility for the problem.  The fastest way to get on a course of recovery is to first know that you “own” this problem and that YOU can change it.

7. Be cognizant of your internal dialogue. What is the message that you are telling yourself?  How you talk to yourself is the single most important element of living.  The worst can go before you and your candle will not flicker when you “Feel” amazing! If someone told you everyday day that you are stupid and worthless and ugly, etc., you would eventually believe it.  What are you telling yourself every day, every moment?  

Written by Jason Caras and Frank Clark