Friday, October 21, 2011

YOU are responsible for changing the world

You have a morale obligation to change the world by becoming a better human being everyday that you get the gift of living life.

Take stock for a moment and recognize each time you went out of your way consciously to help someone else. Perhaps you mentored, guided or provided leadership to someone. Of course (hopefully) you have many instances of this. Most people do. Some have more and some have less and the quality of your life is most likely commensurate with your contribution.

Now reflect on the people who have influenced you that you never even met. This may be a person you admire for the way they are, how they act or the things they might have said. Here you will find countless. Maybe a person who spoke up for a group they were among when no one would. Maybe it's a person who always seems to be happy. There are selfless people who exist who may very well be feeling angry, depressed, anxious or whatever, but do not show it in an effort to not poison a workplace, or bother other people.

Regardless, direct or indirect influence by others actions are powerful indeed. Something along the way that someone else did or said contributed to your wellbeing, making you a happier person, more educated, fulfilled human being. Conversely, the negative affect exists where the influence of others have made you doubtful, fearful, disgusted, upset, inadequate, worthless or just a nuisance in their way.

Every single interaction you have with another human being holds with it the awesome responsibility of changing their world and by doing so, yours. I contend that making the cashier you greet feel like the most important person on the planet is your moral responsibility. I ran into a particularly grumpy and from the looks of it, depressed sloth of a human not long ago at a drugstore. It took several comments and questions and even coaching about why he should be happy to be alive to get him to even lift his unshaven, unkempt head. He was reluctant to even acknowledge me. Whether he "turned" he knew I went out of my way. I didn't expect anything in return and that should be a rule to live by. I actually felt rejected right away when he didn't play along with my ultra happy and talkative approach. I immediately reminded myself that I was not doing it for me and trudged on. The moment you make it about yourself, is when you lost sight of the mission at hand.

Taking this concept further, the more self actualized you are, the healthier you are, the more patient you are, the more balanced you are, the more happy you are contributes to the whole and serves as a person of influence in the community at large. Lead by example. In fact, this way of life is the epitome of leadership. There is no challenger to the leader of example.

Obviously, if you are a parent you have an immediate audience for your leadership by example. If you are not taking care of yourself, what kind of leader are you showing yourself to be to your children? If you are nasty to other people, what does your "example" say to those around you? Keep in mind the countless people who have influenced you without you ever even meeting them, whether they demonstrated a positive or negative "example" experience; you are part of those indirect influencers group to everyone around you.

If you think about the world, most people have observed a lot of the negative aspects of our time and the societies of the world. It's easier to talk about what's wrong than what's right. Ask a stranger in an elevator how they are doing, and you will most likely be met with "it's Monday" or "It's cold out" or whatever. We have become conditioned. A man walks down an alley on his way to work and notices garbage on the ground. He is overwhelmed with disgust and the lack of respect for property it shows. He goes on to work and begins talking to his colleagues about how filthy the city is. Another man by contrast who walks the same alley on his journey to work hold the same contempt for the culprit of said filth. He on the other hand doesn't think it's the city's problem. He asks himself if walking on by is his very best. With the obvious answer handy, he picks it up. He doesn't go on with his day using it as a tool for attention and mere mindless chit chat. Because he exercised his very best, he in fact is feeling quite empowered and is now in the position to be a great positive "example" of leadership, because his shoulders are pulled back and he walks with confidence knowing he is disciplined and is also a great leader. You don't have to lead a workforce to be a great leader. Every single human being is in a position of leadership.

How do you want to contribute to society; as an example of how to live or as an example of a casualty of failed leadership? If you look within and take a hard look at yourself, what kind of leader are you? If you are not a force for good, begin today with making small modifications to your day. Start with how you greet strangers. A smile is one of the most powerful things you can contribute to society. It's contagious and it makes people feel good. catch yourself before you complain and replace it with a positive statement. Why not ask those around you what they think of you? Ask for an honest evaluation on your leadership by example.

You may not be the leader of the free world or of a department, but you are a leader of the human race. As a leader of the human race, live by an amazing example and help others to do the same. While there is no quick fix to the world or society, over time we will all enjoy a better life together.

Who's responsibility it is to change the world? If not us, than who? You know the answer.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Dealing with Financial Stress


Dealing with Financial Stress
It has been said that stress is the silent killer. I would argue that stress is not silent at all.  Add "financial" to the picture and you now have a cocktail that can disintegrate a marriage, erode the human body and cause the mind to contort situations from bad to catastrophic. So, is financial stress silent? No! Lethal? Yes!
Having been completely broke on several occasions, I can relate this to subject matter.  Our minds tend to make matters worse when a worsening situation is the last thing we need.
 On no account brood over your wrong-doing. Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean. ” Aldous Huxley (1894–1963), English writer
How we make things worse:
1. Negativity - It is far easier to be negative when times are tough. This one alone is the biggest culprit of making matters worse than they are. It serves as the proverbial snowball that plows over everything in your life and leads to a number of other bad circumstances.
2. Desperate or fearful moves - Being cornered will make most people turn to a reactive state and necessarily so.  Being cornered financially with a lot of financial responsibility often makes people make rash decisions that don't make sense. Remember that decisions made out of fear are always the wrong ones.
3. Indecision - Doing nothing at all is a recipe for continued failure.  DO SOMETHING.  Call your creditors and work out a mutually beneficial payment plan. Seek coaching with a financial planner. Remember that to move a boat that is anchored, the anchor only needs to be lifted one inch from the bottom of the sea.  A small correction can have an immense impact but it starts with lifting the anchor that is tying you down.
4. Going down with the ship - Sometimes we have to open our eyes to the reality around us and cut our losses.  Don’t let your pride get int he way.  Pride clouds judgement with the intensity of a sand storm.  Ask yourself: “What is the worst thing that can happen?” and once you realize what that is, make a decision.  I’ve held on too long several times only to look backs years later to say: “I wish I had just let go.”
5. Be honest about what the situation REALLY IS!  In order to fix anything, you need to know from what point you are starting at. If you want to increase your net worth each year but only know what your income is without knowing your debt load, you will have no clue on the amount needed to accomplish your goal.  Be honest also about what got you in this situation in the first place. Financial stress was created, promoted, or allowed by YOU.  What habits are you constantly doing that are adding to your financial angst?  Are you eating out every night of the week?  Are you allowing your spouse or children to overspend without discussion?  Are you living well beyond your means in order to present a facade of wealth to boast your image or perceived social status?  If you want X and you do Y and expect X, then you are living in delusion.  
6. Quit blaming others.  Your credit card company did not “screw you” by charging you 25% interest on a card that you ordered and over charged.  Your brother who failed to pay you back the money you loaned him is not the reason you’re having issues right now. Take responsibility for the problem.  The fastest way to get on a course of recovery is to first know that you “own” this problem and that YOU can change it.
7. Be cognizant of your internal dialogue. What is the message that you are telling yourself?  How you talk to yourself is the single most important element of living.  The worst can go before you and your candle will not flicker when you “Feel” amazing! If someone told you everyday day that you are stupid and worthless and ugly, etc., you would eventually believe it.  What are you telling yourself every day, every moment?  
Written by Jason Caras and Frank Clark